Sick and Tired…of feeling sick and tired

I remember when I was a girl, and I’d visit my friends’ homes, they’d have to knock on their mamas’ bedroom doors to ask, “Can we go to the game?” or “Can we get something to eat?” The mamas  would be tucked deep into their rooms, snuggled under blankets talking on the phone, eating,  or watching TV.

My own mother would come home from an all-day adventure in the classrooms of the school where she taught English and a variety of other subjects (probably manners and hard knocks mixed in there somewhere) and fall softly upon her own bed. There she would remain until dinnertime. She would even do our hair from her bed, with us bending our large heads down toward her outstretched arms, and then rising again with uneven ponytails and strange arrangements. We learned to do our own hair quickly!

But what I now understand is that those women were tired. And now that I’m in my forties, I feel that fatigue alot, sometimes daily! I open my kitchen cabinets to browse my meds and supplements, deciding to get a pill pack to keep it organized. I find myself running to and fro to see different doctors and to work on different issues.

Feeling fat

More often,  I make my zumba class at the gym, and I was doing pretty great at walking on a regular basis. Now that the weather has turned south, I find myself dragging to get out and exercise, and often decide to take a bed break (some people call it a nap) instead. I skim over the frozen greens and berries in my fridge, inviting me to turn them into a smoothie, but too often grab chips and chocolate instead.

Monkeymoment

Something must change! I know it. Yet, I can’t seem to find the turn key to better health and energy. I have more life to live, more things to do, and my health has to be in tune with my passion. I loved this letter written by eating psychology coach, Shelby McDaniel.

Dear body,

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for all the years I tried to manipulate and control you. All the years I ignored your gentle whispers and cries for love and support. All the hurtful things I said to you, all the ways I mistreated you. All the hours spent comparing you to others and not seeing your own unique strength, power, grace, and beauty. I’m sorry for all the anger and frustration I misdirected at you when I was hurting. I’m sorry for all the hurtful ways I tried to numb and disconnect from you. I’m sorry for all the times I didn’t yet understand how to truly comfort you.

I did not know at that time in my life how to respect you. I believed that other people knew better than you did. I put all of my worthiness into looking and performing a certain way, which I now know is not at all true. I did not know at that time in my life how to cope with the pain that I felt, and I am sorry I took that out on you.

I now realize you were trying your best to keep me alive and protect me. I realize that you were doing your best considering the circumstances and the way I was treating you. You gentle whispers for support soon turned into screams for love, and I now understand that. You did what you had to do to get my attention and keep me alive.

Thank you body for everything that you do for me each and every single day.

Thank you for keeping me alive and still showing up for me in the past when I did not show you the respect you deserve. So many things that you do for me each and every day that allow me to fully sense and enjoy this life.

I appreciate you. I am grateful for you and all that you do. I’m sorry for not seeing your value and taking advantage of so many of your abilities in the past. I see you and honor you. I am grateful to be rebuilding a relationship with you.

I promise to do my best to keep learning how to respect your needs.I thank you for being so strong and resilient. I thank you for being patient with me as I am re-learning how to listen to you and respect you. Thank you for teaching me how to respect myself. Thank you for teaching me how to be more patient, kind, loving and compassionate with my own self.

Love,

Me

Shelby McDaniel
Founder of Diet Freedom
Certified Eating Psychology Coach

Body of mine, like Shelby, I’m sorry too. I promise to love you better in 2020…

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