They want to bring you closer to the Spirit by taking you all the way to glory!
You’ll be tempted to imbibe spirits once you deplane!
You’ll feel like a spirit after being shaken and rattled until your teeth chatter!
I know when I rode them a couple weeks ago, I wasn’t sure if I was about to go on into the heavens or fall back to earth. Here’s what happened:
I was coming back from a Labor Day getaway to Houston. I had gotten the ticket on those third party websites that mix and match to find your “best” price. But now I was irritated that I had to pay over $50 bucks to carry OR to check my bag, so I just checked it, even though it really was too flimsy for the trauma of being tossed in the pile of hard suitcases or squished beneath heavy duffle bags. I probably could have passed it off as a “personal item” but the attendant at the online check in kept saying, “That’s your personal item” pointing to my purse “… and that’s your bag,” pointing back to my beige roller/overnight bag when I asked her if it was small enough to carry on as a personal item if I were to consolidate my purse inside it. She did not understand the question. I moved on.
Then we entered the plane. It looked nice and normal, but during take off it wobbled and shook like crazy and I wondered if it was about to break apart. As we achieved our correct height and things settled down, the flight attendants began the drink service. “Would you like something to drink, ma’am” one asked cheerily. “Yes, I’ll take some water,” I answered confidently. She hesitated, “That will be $3 dollars and Spirit Airlines does not take cash.”
“Oh, we have to pay for drinks as well as snack items?”
“Yes, everything is itemized on Spirit Airlines.”
“Alrighty. I’ll pass. Thanks.” Thinking, “I guess I’ll just dehydrate. $3 dollars for 2 ounces of water?! Humpf!”
Then, a chipper attendant who looked to be an older teenager got on the mike. “We have an announcement to make. Someone would like to propose to someone on board. We want to call…Anita to the front…. Is there an Anita on board?”
No one stirred. “Anita, where are you girl? Don’t be shy. Will Anita come forward?” Finally, a dark haired young lady emerged from the back of the plane and shyly made her way to the very front. The attendant then told her, “Someone wants to propose…that you take the middle seat!!! Haha…Hahaha!” She quickly sat down.
As we approached the Atlanta International Airport, I breathed a sigh of relief. We shook and rattled toward landing, then, just as we were about to touch down, the plane escalated again and lifted off. We kept flying higher and higher, faster and faster. Everyone stopped talking. I began to confess my sins, pray for my fellow passengers, and call on my Maker.
Finally, the pilot came on the loudspeaker and said, “We hit a little wind gust as we approached the landing strip and it was just safer to try that again. Stand by for landing.”
We tried once more and this time slid safely onto Georgia soil. I’ve never been so happy to see Georgia dirt, suck in fresh hot Georgia air, and look at Georgia people. I breathed quietly, “I’m just glad to be alive,” as that same teenager-looking attendant took the mike again and said, “Welcome to New Orleans!” and then “I’m just kiddin’ girl. We in Atlanta!”
Ohhh, nooo he didn’t!