Reflections on Germany while Home for a few Days- “God Knows How to do My Hair!”



(For those who may not know what I’m talking about but are afraid to ask…I have endnotes)

I’m not saying it was my stylist’s fault, and I’m not saying it was mine for leaving my weave in for over three months, I’m just saying if God  hadn’t heard my desperate cries by the bathroom sink a couple weeks back, I would have been lost, bewildered, and late for work.Feelin' kinda glam

Ok, this story begins all the way back in August of 2013 when I decided I was going to grow my hair out natural (1). I couldn’t get an appointment in to see my stylist for a couple weeks, so I thought, may as well go for it. (I’d thought about it off and on for months.) Well, things were going well with me just wet set curling (2) it, but as I prepared to move to Europe, I thought I’d try a weave/sew in (3).

I felt so glamorous! I was off to Europe with my do, and without a clue. Sooo, 3 months in, it was still sitting on top of my head, and I was really, really nervous. I called my stylist back home who told me to take it down, “You’re in the danger zone,” she said calmly.

I asked around a lot and finally found a “kitchen-tician”(4)stylist on the installation. She and her friend took it down (undid the cornrows beneath my weave) and wow, my real hair felt like ropes of macramé (5) in the back. It had locked(6) together, just as I feared!

Those girls were so determined to save my hair, they conditioned and detangled and pushed and pulled, and yanked and tugged and magically opened my hair.  They put humectant on it to soften what seemed to have fossilized— After more conditioning, cutting, and flat ironing, it actually looked great.

The next day it rained, and my hair puffed up. I was not used to this. Half my hair was still relaxed(7), and half was natural. And my hair is good (because everything God makes is) and very kinky in its natural state. It hurts to comb it! So I really do need to learn new techniques, but I was far from home.  So, I got on Youtube and watched girls doing amazing things with natural hair. I tried a twist roll out. It looked good for a day. Then it didn’t look so hot. Next day I decided to  try to  flat iron it with a

borrowed iron. I realized I’d forgotten to even bring a comb to Germany and had limited hair products. It wasn’t going to work-my hair had knots in it. Then I tried to twist again and let it dry in less than an hour, it looked like –NOOO! A hot mess. “I can’t go to work like this!” I felt myself getting hot, feeling completely overwhelmed, panicky, and very very sad.

I had just ordered a wig for desperate moments. I grabbed it and put it on. If I had been singing with the Supremes or hanging out in ATL at a basketball wives event, it would have looked great, but the kids I work with would have been obsessed with it all day if I’d shown up at school that way. I was fighting back tears at this point. I yelled out a prayer,” Help me Jesus!”, and that’s when God answered. In a flash of inspiration, He gave me the idea to grab a rubber band and pull my wig back. It worked. I was so happy. I put on a maxi dress and got compliments all day long.

And that’s how I found out that God knows how to do my hair 🙂

Perplexed Pull back

Ok, I can relax for a while
Ok, I can relax for a while


Later on, I met a woman who told me she could do twists, which is what I’m wearing now. Yayyyy….


1) The way God planted it on my head…tightly coiled. The concept of going natural is about being proud of who we are and learning to love our natural beauty. However, after so many years of using chemical straighteners, many of us have to relearn how to manage our natural hair. So the weave was an easy option as I grew it out.

(2) Sitting under a dryer with rollers.

(3) Hair extensions that are easier to manage than your own hair at times.

(4) Someone who does hair out of their own home.

(5) Woven hemp

(6) As in unintentional dreadlocks

(7) Chemically straightened hair that will not curl when wet


8 Comments Add yours

  1. Too funny.. I am doing the BIG CHOP on my locs 10 year anniversary to give my hair a break.

    1. tabiupton says:

      Wow! Post a pic plse. Good hearing from u.

  2. Katherine Wilson says:

    what a story, I “used” to envy u girls bcu u had so many different options with ur hair but think I will just keep my very short/straight style…….wet it everyday/blow it dry and I’m ready…..but I hve a friend who is letting hers grow out natural also–didn’t understand until I read ur ordeal….. btw, ur wig pulled back looked great……many times I hve wondered if women’s hair is part of the fall….bad hair day causes great emotional trauma……u r funny.

    1. tabiupton says:

      Hadn’t thought of that but it makes sense! Lol. We just want to feel beautiful and valued…and hair plays a huge role. So interesting.

  3. Pamela says:

    Wow!!! I’m just getting a chance to view your website and blog. Great experiences!

    1. tabiupton says:

      Oh thanks for reading!

  4. kimberly says:

    I really like your hair in your profile picture!
    I wish everyone, regardless of hair type, would feel beautiful in whatever their hair does. I think natural hair is SO beautiful. I still remember sitting in the hallway in the dorm listening to several friends after Gospel Choir talking about all they did to their hair to make it the style they wanted. I had no idea all the work! (I think I found you via Michelle’s links off of Katrina’s FB stuff. Hi!!)
    I also wish all women wouldn’t feel the need to dye their hair. I’m starting to get grey hair and it’s staying. 🙂 That’s the one good thing about where I live that I’ve noticed just this last year. The women are not dyeing their hair, but letting it grow out white/grey. It’s so much better looking. (I live in a tiny town with mostly retired women.)

    1. tabiupton says:

      Thanks so much. Your blog is amazing! What was your maiden name at Biola?

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